A child who insists on being picked up by a working mother. Another child who quarrels to sit on the lap of a father busy working on a laptop. Often, amid their work pressure, parents may feel that they are not obliged to give in to such demands. However, there is one important thing to understand here: these reactions of children are part of their desire to seek more attention from their parents. Similarly, there are children who frequently call their parents at the office to ask when they will return. Here too, what they are saying- without saying it in words- is: ‘pay attention to me, notice me, I need your presence more’.
Haven’t you seen slightly older children who cry very easily? Even a small disappointment or dislike comes out of them as tears. This is a sign of their inner emotional emptiness. Some children invite their parents to play with them. From this, it is clear that they need the closeness and presence of their parents very much. Even when friends or other family members are around, some children prefer to be with their mother or father. This indicates their desire to stay emotionally connected to their parents.
A child who was once very active may suddenly withdraw into silence, or become sad and quiet. Experts say that this too happens due to a lack of parental attention. Children sometimes do things even after being told not to, fully knowing they may be scolded or punished.
There is a psychology behind this as well: an attempt to gain the parents’ attention, even if it comes through scolding. Some children sleep very late. Some insist that either the father or the mother must sleep with them. This too is part of seeking emotional security.
One common complaint all parents share is children’s addiction to mobile phones and television. Excessive immersion in these happens because children do not receive enough parental presence, closeness, care and attention. Parents who spend time with their children or play with them will never see their children become addicted to games or mobile phones.
There are loving parents who buy expensive toys or anything their children ask for. But they never spend time with their children. They do not hold them close, hug them or give them kisses. Children who grow up without experiencing emotional security are the ones who, at a very young age, fall into drug abuse or unhealthy relationships.
For children who grow up experiencing their parents’ love and touch from early childhood, mobile phones and television are never more important than their parents. They may use mobiles and TV, but even if they do, they will never get trapped in addiction to mobiles, TV or immature emotional relationships- this is certain.
The love and affection that children fail to receive from their parents in early childhood are what they go searching for in others when they reach adolescence. Therefore, if children go astray somewhere along the way, one reason behind it is that they grew up without receiving enough love or attention in their early years. When children are small enough to be lifted, lift them and cuddle them. When they grow too big to be carried, hug them and touch them affectionately. What refuge can give our children greater security than the loving touch of their parents?
By understanding these signs mentioned above and by giving children what they truly need, try to become better parents.
