Mistakes are a normal part of life. But how should we live in the days that follow a mistake we have made? Or more importantly, how should we respond to our mistakes?
There is an English expression, ‘an embarrassing faux pas.’ It can refer to the embarrassment caused by something we did unintentionally or to a social blunder that causes embarrassment. It can include anything from calling someone by the wrong name to accidentally revealing something that was meant to be kept secret in front of others.
There are people who go through considerable mental anguish over such mistakes. Their thoughts may be, “Oh no, but I actually said that!” or “I really did that!” or “I made such a stupid remark during the meeting!” They keep tormenting themselves over what happened.
Here are a few ways to come out of that distress.
First, accept what happened. Yes, what you said was inappropriate. What you did was not right either. But it happened. Now accept it. It is better to acknowledge and accept what happened than to justify or deny it. That, too, is a sign of self-confidence.
If you realize that your words or actions hurt someone, say sorry. An apology does not need excessive embellishment or lengthy explanations. Very often, long apologies and explanations only complicate matters and make them worse. Say what needs to be said, where it needs to be said and in the way it needs to be said.
If you have enough humour and self-confidence to laugh at yourself, it can also be helpful to lighten the situation with a small joke.
But there is something even more important than all this. You made a mistake. But you are usually the only one who remembers it for a long time. Other people may have forgotten the incident within a few hours.
The truth is that other people do not think about us as much as we think about ourselves- or as much as we imagine they do.
There is no need to keep blaming yourself and suffering through self-condemnation. You made a mistake. But that alone does not make you a bad person.
Everyone makes mistakes in one way or another. That is all we need to remember. We are bigger than any mistake we make. Once we develop that belief and understanding, even the biggest blunder begins to seem small.
