Respect, honour, love and recognition are the desires and needs of every human being. No one wishes to be ignored. Very few people willingly turn away from being honoured. Yet how can anyone earn respect, win the love and esteem of others and establish credibility except through their own efforts?
• If you wish to be respected, never go in search of respect. Those who pursue honour and recognition with undue eagerness often become objects of ridicule. Being respected may be your desire, and you may indeed deserve it. But do not beg for respect or obtain it through influence. If you are worthy of honour and yet it does not come your way, that itself is a form of recognition. Not all honours are bestowed upon those who truly deserve them. When the genuinely deserving are overlooked, those who obtain honour and recognition through the back door are, in another sense, themselves undeserving of honour.
• If you want others to trust you, respect you, and take you seriously, you must have succeeded at least once. Success is what determines a person’s worth in the eyes of the world. Ability is, at times, only a secondary factor. People may be willing to invest money in the business of someone who has already succeeded or enter into partnership with such a person. But if someone is capable and yet has not achieved success, very few are willing to acknowledge or trust them.
• Although we often say that inner beauty is greater than outward beauty, what first attracts us to a person is, in fact, their outward appearance. Physical appearance, dress and bodily presentation all matter. In a crowd, our attention is naturally drawn first to the person we find physically most attractive. Therefore, even while speaking of inner beauty for the sake of inspiration, encouragement or applause, we should not ignore the importance of outward appearance. Some may cite Abraham Lincoln as an exception, for he is often described as having been physically unattractive. That is true. But he came to command attention only after becoming President. Once a person attains a position of distinction, the position itself often makes that person appear attractive. If you are someone living in sorrow, despair and disorder, you are unlikely to draw others towards you.
• If you believe that no one loves you, trusts you or that your relationships are poor, be willing to examine yourself instead of blaming others. It is true that not everyone can love everyone else, trust them or build deep and sincere relationships. But if everyone, without exception, neglects you and distances themselves from you, then perhaps the reason lies with you. Therefore, stop blaming others and be prepared to rebuild yourself.
• Only those who possess happiness within themselves are capable of bringing happiness to those around them. Consider the small unit called a home. A husband or a wife who constantly grumbles, becomes angry, and complains does so because they are inwardly dissatisfied. They lack inner happiness. Why does a manager continually criticize and fail to appreciate a colleague? Because there is neither joy nor contentment within. We must understand that our happiness cannot depend upon the happiness of others; what matters is preserving the happiness that exists within ourselves.
• Do not remind those who have forgotten you of your existence. This is not an act of revenge or hatred; rather, it is a matter of self-respect. It simply means that they value you only to that extent. If you keep sending messages on WhatsApp, see the blue ticks indicating they have been read, and yet never receive even a forwarded message in return, the indication is that you have become an unwelcome intruder in their lives. Withdraw-with gentleness and with quiet dignity. Let me say it again: do not remind those who have forgotten you. You may remember them, but do not remind them.
• Do not become arrogant because of your achievements or successes. Today’s success may not be repeated tomorrow. The success you now enjoy may not prove permanent. Today’s achievements may one day turn into setbacks. Receive success with humility. Bow your head before your accomplishments rather than letting them inflate your pride. The world has room for everyone and can accommodate all kinds of people, but an arrogant person is unfit for any world.
