The  Burden of Self-Consciousness

One of the things that weighs   heavily  on many people is self-consciousness. Thoughts such as “What will others think of me?”, “Did I say something wrong?”, or “How do I look?” can become an overwhelming burden. Almost everyone experiences such thoughts from time to time. However, some people become excessively preoccupied with them. As a result, their self-confidence diminishes and they begin to feel uncomfortable in social  situations. How, then, can one overcome this?

The greatest misconception among such people is the belief that everyone is constantly watching them, speaking ill of them or ridiculing them. The assumption that others are continually thinking about you is simply mistaken. In reality, everyone is preoccupied with their own concerns and thoughts. It is not their occupation to keep examining you or judging your every action.

If the feeling that “everyone is mocking me” continually troubles you, try approaching it in a different way. Ask yourself: What evidence do I have that everyone is ridiculing me? Could this simply be something I have imagined? Question your assumptions and perceptions in this manner. More often than not, our fears are unfounded and disconnected from reality.

Avoid dwelling repeatedly on events that are already over. Do not keep replaying how you behaved, what you said or what you did. Thoughts such as “I shouldn’t have said that,” or “What must they have thought of me?” should be set aside. Whether the outcome was good or bad, what has happened has already happened. Leave it where it belongs-in the past.

Another way forward is to understand that no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and has shortcomings. A mistake need not be viewed as a failure. If we are willing to correct it, a mistake remains nothing more than a mistake. Every human being is imperfect and has faults and limitations.

As your knowledge, skills and competence grow in any field, your self-confidence naturally increases. Therefore, do not waste any opportunity to develop your abilities. Good preparation and consistent practice reduce the burden of excessive self-consciousness.
Before the end of each day, write down three good things you did that day. It may be one good deed ‘I did today, something that made me feel proud of myself today’, or ‘what I was actually afraid of and what really happened instead’. Reflect on the day by writing down such observations. If you make this a regular habit, you will gradually realize that many of your fears and worries were baseless. In doing so, you will free yourself from the unnecessary burden of excessive concern about yourself.